If you see Donnie or Hank Applegate, you most likely see the other one, too. Yet the brothers have their own abilities and personalities.
Hank, 54, is older but often looks to Donnie, who is 10 years younger, for leadership. He is, though, learning the satisfaction of making his own choices. Horses are among Hank’s favorite things. Donnie is outgoing and eager to take on new adventures. He likes race cars, monster trucks, motorcycles, camping, most other outdoor activities, concerts and dancing. Hank enjoys most of those activities but with less intensity.
Donnie cleans at Cooper Mortgage of Winfield once a week, with a job coach, mopping, vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, emptying the shredder and taking out the trash. He cleaned the Winfield Dairy Queen for about five years until it went out of business. He also empties trash cans at CCL’s Meyer Hall and helps stock vending machines there.
Chronic asthma and bronchitis limit Hank’s ability to clean, but he empties trash cans at Meyer Hall, helps stock the vending machines and collects aluminum cans for recycling.
“When I first met the Applegates, it was hard to get Hank to go to activities, visit the doctor or do anything like that,” said Greg Pickle, who has provided direct care for the brothers ever since they moved to a CCL residence in 2001. “I figured if they were capable of feeding themselves and doing the basics of life, they were capable of doing a lot more than what they were doing.
“I first got Hank to do his own laundry,” Greg said. “He would take it in the laundry room and empty his hamper. I measured the soap and poured it in, and we put marks on the washer so he could turn it to the correct setting. Within a couple weeks, he was hanging his own clothes up, matching his socks and putting his underwear in the right drawers. He was always excited about that and wanted to show the new staff coming in. He would say ‘Who did that?’ Then looking so proud, he would say ‘I did!’”
Greg also began taking the Applegates to area lakes and rivers. At first, he said, they just threw rocks and sticks in the water. Then it progressed to walking on nature trails, which provided exercise and opportunities for Greg to teach them about wildlife.
“Many times we go to a lake or river and pick up the trash we find, leaving it cleaner than we found it,” he said. “Hank is so much more outgoing now. He is ready to go out the door.”
Something especially dear to Donnie’s heart is his car, a 1979 Pontiac Bonneville given to him by Ava Cheaves, his team leader at the time. The car was no longer running, but Greg agreed to help him turn it into a race car. The Bonneville was moved to Greg’s residence on the outskirts of Arkansas City, where the car was painted orange and made to look like the General Lee, a Dukes of Hazzard car Donnie is crazy about. The idea was for Greg to drive it, but so far that hasn’t happened.
“Whenever the weather is nice, Donnie likes to work on his car,” said Cara Vinson, who has provided direct care for the Applegates ever since they left their parents’ farm and is now their team leader, too. “The car may never be driven, but he enjoys working on it. They were going to put it in a demolition derby, but Donnie didn’t want his car all smashed up.”
Greg said he and others work to keep Hank and Donnie active and trying new things.
“We continue to pick up trash. This Saturday we are going to a football game and will pick up trash after that. We do a lot of free activities like river walks and fishing, and we’re going camping next week at the Winfield City Lake. Donnie says we are going to cook hotdogs, go swimming and fish. With the high price of gas, we can’t go to Wichita as often as we used to.”
Eric Fraley, who just graduated from Cowley College, has often been involved in these activities since about a year ago when Cara moved to the team leader position. Even on their days off, Greg and Eric often spend time with the Applegates.
“I’ll take my guitar to the house, and Donnie gets his guitar out, and we play,” Eric said. “We tore down Donnie’s motorcycle (given to him by a friend of Greg) and let him paint it. He sanded it all by himself. Now he pushes it around the yard and sits on it, and shows it off.
“We’re getting ready to remodel Hank’s shredding box. He’s going to be drilling holes, painting, etc. It will have shelves where he can store his ropes, baseballs and other things.”
Greg said he and Eric lined up some mowing jobs for Donnie this summer. He also got a couple of old swing sets and planned to help Donnie varnish the wood on one and repaint the metal one. Then they’ll try to sell them. These jobs not only provide Donnie and Hank with a little spending money but also opportunities to develop skills.
Almost nightly Donnie helps grill meat and vegetables such as squash and corn on the cob for their dinner.
“They’re learning they can do more things on their own,” Eric said. “Hank has changed a lot. At first he wouldn’t say anything to me and would do what Donnie wanted to do. Now he’ll make decisions about what he wants to do.”
Hank and Donnie depended on Cara for almost everything when they first left their family. They were kind of lost, she said. They had lived at home and didn’t know what to expect in their new situation. Being around so many new people was probably frightening. They couldn’t read or write, and their speech wasn’t very clear.
Hank often refused to take his medicine, bathe, eat his meals, go to the doctor or participate in other daily activities. Sometimes staff members resorted to having Donnie convince him to cooperate. Once, for instance, when he refused to go to the eye doctor, Donnie talked him into it.
“Hank used to do whatever Donnie wanted him to do, but now he thinks more for himself. It doesn’t bother him to tell Donnie no,” Cara said. “He’s found his own voice in the last 2 ½ or three years. He’s also more likely to cooperate when someone else wants him to do something.”
Greg recalled going to a dodge ball tournament in Wichita last year with the Applegates and other CCL clients and staff members. Rock Squad calendars were given away, and some of the girls were autographing them.
“We went up there, and they got their signatures,” he said. “Later more of the girls were there, and Hank asked if he could get their signatures. I said to go ahead, and Hank went by himself, through two different doors, and waited in line. He got their autographs and shook their hands, and was very proud of that. Other staff members who were with us and had known Hank and Donnie for several years were pretty amazed. One remarked ‘Hank has really come out of his shell.’”
“I think they are happier now, more secure, more comfortable,” Cara said. “They feel like they have a voice now where maybe before they didn’t know they could speak up.”
At the same time, she said, they’ve tried to teach Hank and Donnie they don’t always get to have things their way. There are times, for example, when someone else needs to use the vehicle assigned to their residence.
“Then they have to carpool” with the three women who live in the other side of their duplex. “The only problem is they have such varied interests. The girls don’t want to go sit on a riverbank all day. We try to instill in them that sometimes we just have to be flexible.”
Because of their increasing independence, Donnie and Hank no longer require direct supervision at night. Audio surveillance makes it possible for them to talk to the staff member on the other side of the duplex, and that person also checks on them intermittently. In this way, CCL provides a balance of privacy, dignity and safety.
When Hank has breathing problems, he still turns to Cara for help. She has encouraged him to communicate instead of keeping quiet if he doesn’t feel well. Donnie occasionally still goes to Cara about issues, but she often refers both of them to other staff members so they learn to interact with them and not be so dependent on her.
She thinks it’s been especially good for the brothers to have men who spend time with them on typical male activities such as fishing, riding motorcycles and working on cars.
“It has been part of them both opening up and trying things they maybe wouldn’t try before,” she said.
Hank and Donnie also spend a lot of time with the families of Cara, Greg and Eric.
“Donnie and Hank spend time with all three families on holidays,” Cara said. “Eric’s mom does special things for them, and Greg’s mom is the same way. It’s like one big happy family. That’s what makes the whole thing nice. This is not just where you live and people who take care of you. It’s family coming in to spend time.”
“My family had an Easter egg hunt, and my mom got them baskets and stuff,” Eric said. “I’ll take them to eat lunch with my parents somewhere. On my days off, I might take my nephew by their house and hang out.”
“My mom saves cans for Hank,” Greg said. “We visit her once a week or so, and she always makes them a sandwich. They are very much at home at her place.”
His kids refer to the Applegates as Uncle Donnie and Uncle Hank.
Jean Conklin, Hank and Donnie’s sister and guardian, believes they’ve grown a lot since being supported by CCL.
“They enjoy having an independent life,” she said. “I appreciate how Greg takes them out to work on the car and do all their activities. So many people have taken Donnie and Hank into their own families. Cara and Greg, especially, have been important to them for a long time. That’s really nice.”
Cara remains the main source of communication between Jean, who lives in Pretty Prairie, and Donnie and Hank. Jean sends e-mails and letters, and Cara reads them to the brothers and e-mails return messages. Jean also calls and visits them.
Though Hank and Donnie are the ones supported by CCL, Greg said he gains a lot through his interactions with them.
“It doesn’t matter how bad your day is or how rough a time you’re having, when you walk into the Applegates’ house, they will make you laugh and smile,” he said. “You’ll forget all about your problems. Eric is the same way. He’ll do things to get you laughing. You couldn’t ask for better people to work with.”